What do you think of when you hear the word "vacation"? A beach, an umbrella drink and a break from reality? This week was my vacation, however, it was a vacation that sent me back to normalcy. As What About Bob said "A vacation from my problems...you bet I will!" Week 4 was pretty uneventful when it comes to new information or tests yet it was jammed packed with eventful journeys that have left me sitting here on Friday night exhausted so I will keep this week short and sweet.
I have to start this week's blog with last Saturday. Daniel and I got up early and took the dogs to the dog park to meet up with Patricia and Rome. Through all the appointments I feel like I have neglected my dogs and the attention they need so this was long overdue. After about a couple hours of playing in the water and Newton jealously chasing Igby around the park we headed home to clean up for the next adventure. Our next stop was Bite of Seattle food festival at the Seattle Center. Patricia met back up with us at the food festival to eat some delicious grub. This event was incredible! It was very overwhelming the amount of people and the amount of food that was in such a small space but we were on a mission to eat. We walked around for a long time tasting various amounts of food till our stomachs were satisfied. Mission completed.
After satisfying all of our senses we headed to a local pub underneath my apartment for an afternoon beer and fun conversation. By the end of the day my mind was at ease and it was the first night in a long time I slept like a rock.
On a medical update this week has been all about harvesting eggs. This is such an intense process. Since last Friday I have been doing IVF to prepare for my retrieval (sometime early next week). This requires me to take shots (2-3) daily at night. Through this process I have come to terms that I am a huge wimp when it comes to puncturing my own skin. Needless to say I will never be someone who self inflicts pain. The thought of causing my own pain makes my heart race so Daniel, yet again, has come to my rescue in giving me my shots every day. He is strong but I know the thought of him hurting me kills him. It will be over soon. Along with the shots I have to go to the doctor every two days to get bloodwork and an ultrasound to make sure I am on track. Luckily they are super quick appointments and have been really early in the morning so they haven't interfered with my week.
Okay so now that is out of the way back to my fun week! On Monday I got the privilege to go back to work at the bar. Yes, a privilege because I know it sadly won't last much longer. I love the people I work with at the bar. They have been super supportive and are willing to give up shifts so I can make money. While I was working on Monday I was telling a few coworkers that I need to cut my hair before chemotherapy starts so it will be less traumatic when my hair falls out. I keep imagining massive chunks of hair falling out and me holding it in between my knuckles screaming "NO!" as some ballad is playing in the background. Quite comical if you ask me but not something I really want to experience. I had mentioned that I did not want to pay a large sum for a cut that I would only have for a few weeks. After I left work that day two of my coworkers had reached out to friends of theirs and got me contacts for a free haircut. Amazing people do exist. One day I will pay this all forward I promise.
Tuesday was my day of rest. I organized a few things at home and looked over my medical bills. Lets just say this whole process has taught me to be very organized. I also played around with my camera a bit. I think I am going to have to find a Groupon or something for a photography class. My camera is much smarter than it's owner.
Wednesday I made an appointment for my haircut. Now anyone who knows me knows I am super picky about who cuts my hair and how they cut it; so much so that I haven't cut my hair since I moved here because I don't trust anyone to do it right. This week I took a risk, figuring if I don't like it it will only last a few weeks and if I do like it then I found a new hairstylist. After the cut and all the love and support from friends and family I definitely found an awesome stylist I will continue to go to after my hair grows back! Now when my hair falls out it will be in small pieces. All I need to do now is convince my mom or Daniel to shave my head when the chunks start to fall out (neither want to- they think it will be to traumatic). Muahahaha :-)
After my amazing haircut I finally went to the dentist. My oncologist told me I needed to get my teeth cleaned before I start chemo because tooth decay and mouth sores are side affects. from the treatment The cleaner my mouth is the more these side affects can be postponed or prevented. My dentist office is called Supertooth. It is a superhero theme office that played instrumental music of movie theme songs in the background. It totally fit my theme of this whole year, karate chopping cancer, and it actually made me enjoy the cleaning. Oh and the people there were really helpful and nice. They suggested various over the counter medicines that will help keep my mouth "normal" throughout this year. Also, on a side note, I am STILL cavity free!
Thursday and Friday I worked at the bar racking up as much money as I could before I go into hibernation in a few weeks. On Thursday night I went to my third Mariners' game with a few coworkers/friends from my school. We were in the homerun alley right up against the field. Besides dodging a few flying balls it was a fun relaxing night with friends, beer and delicious food.
On Friday after work I cleaned my house in anticipation for a few friends from home to come visit! This weekend is going to be a blast. Saturday I am going to hang out with my friends from out of town ALL day and Sunday, Patricia invited me to go to Capital Hill Block Party with her! Flaming Lips, Frightened Rabbit, Hey Marseilles, Black Marble and so much more. I can't wait- pictures to come!
Overall this week has been just what the doctor ordered. A vacation from my own problems. I have talked to some amazing people, I joined the Young Survivor Coalition, many people have reached out yet again to help me in this dumb time of need and I have a great new perspective on how I am going to treat this year. Ready for it...This year I am working a really crappy job (treatment), but it is only a year contract. In this "job" I don't get paid, in fact I will have to pay to work, I will have crappy hours, I will cuss out my boss (cancer) but know that in one year all the hard labor that I put into it will all be worth it AND look good on my resume (SURVIVOR). One year. I am not dying, nor do I think I will die, it's just a job. I am hard worker so there is no doubt this is a job I will be excel at. Next week I have my harvesting surgery, an ultrasound of my neck/thyroid, my mom comes in town, and I start chemoterapy. Bring it on!
Saturday, July 27, 2013
Thursday, July 18, 2013
Don't forget to be awesome today!
Week 3 was full of humbling experiences. During this week I learned how to ask for help and how to let go of things I can't control. It was very overwhelming yet extremely humbling. I cannot thank you all enough for the support you have shown me in this battle. It is surreal. People I haven't spoke to in so long are reaching out to me to give me support and it makes me feel so loved. I know I would do the same for anyone in my boat but sometimes I don't think I deserve this recognition. I never felt I was that important to someone yet alone the hundreds who have reached out to me. This has made me change my perspective on my life and like I said it has been incredibly humbling and makes me want to fight this alien cancer even more! So thank you all! I will never be able to repay you and that is hard for me to accept. I also want to especially thank those people who have gone above and beyond anything I can imagine to make me smile or take the stress off me financially. Samantha Summers and Patricia Hayles I will give you my first born children (which could be twins due to IVF-haha) if you can wait till you are almost 40 to receive them. Your fundraiser and all who have donated to it continue to bring me to tears everyday. TEARS. Wow. Also I got a pleasant surprise from my cousin Jami this week. It was a braclet that said "Don't forget to be awesome today" along with a card that said "Being awesome comes naturally to you." I love the thought of this quote. It so simple but so powerful to me. I received it on Wednesday after I talked with my oncologist and it turned my crappy day into all smiles. I even slept in it! I don't need materials or money to know you all support me. I have received so many positive comments and thoughts that those alone are what is keeping me so positive and humorous through this all. It is a front powered by all of you! I wish we lived in fairy land were happy thoughts cured everything because I would be a superhero.
Monday was the beginning of my humbling week. On Monday I had my chemo port put into my chest. My oncologist suggested I have a port put in so that my "young" veins do not get destroyed by the constant poking and prodding that will take place throughout the year. In the port they can draw blood, give chemo and I believe (from seeing someone else go through it) they can even give some other IVs through it. This seemed like a great idea and a simple surgery that I would be able to handle with no issues. Well I now realize I am a bigger wimp than I thought. Daniel and I showed up to the hospital at 7:30a.m. to get blood work and an IV started. Then we waited...and waited. The hospital is not at all like SCCA, there is a lot of waiting around and sometimes it seems like they overbook appointments. Either way, Daniel and I entertained ourselves by listening the the patients next to us be sarcastic with the doctors and the doctors dish it right back as we played cards. It was quite entertaining. Oh, and also, one of my nurses looked like Doc from Back to the Future so that was fun. I should have asked him to teleport me to the future to skip all this. Around 11:00 a.m. they finally took me back to the operating room. They explained the surgery which seemed like a science experiment you would do on Frankenstein. They cut into my jugular and threaded a catheter up and into it so all drugs from here on out have a direct line to my blood supply. Step one in my alien transformation. Maybe they inserted a tracking device like the ones that go into humans on the TV show "V." That would be cool. After my surgery the nurse put me in a post-op room to recover (wake up) and eat. I had mac n' cheese and it was by far the best hospital food I have had yet. I had some pain after the surgery but not terrible pain so I thought "this isn't so bad". At 2:20 p.m. the nurse bandaged me up and told me not to shower for three days and sent me on my way. Ughh...time to get crafty.
Shortly after the pain medicine wore off my body was in hell. The pain on a scale of 1-10 felt like a 10. It felt like I had a metal bar stuck into my chest and it felt like my collarbone was made out of plastic and with the slightest movement it would snap. Walking hurt, laying down hurt, turning my head hurt. The only thing I could do was lay sitting slighting up with my head forward. I stayed this way for the rest of the day and if I needed anything Daniel helped me with it. I felt bad asking for help but I had no other choice. As night fall came Daniel had to go to work and I was home alone trying to sleep with this intense pain. Around 4:00a.m. I had a small mental breakdown but eventually fell asleep.
Tuesday morning when Daniel came home from work I got up to head to my school to meet with my principal to discuss the plan for the year. Daniel had to help me wash my hair in the kitchen sink because I couldnt' move my whole right side and I was told I can't shower for three days. Again...ugh. I felt so incredibly helpless and I owe him 100 guitar pedals for what I sadly feel I am going to put him through this year. This trend of helplessness continued the rest of the day. My friend Alicia picked me up from my apartment (because no way could I drive) to take me to the school and then lunch later. When we got to the school we checked in with my administrator so I could get the information needed to pursue the school district's responsibilities. Another helpless moment during this was Alicia had to take notes for me the whole time. After we met with the principal we headed to lunch with another friend Kate. It was a blast and nice to actually get to do something besides go to appointments and discuss paperwork. After lunch we went to the district office and mapped out a plan for my intermittent disability for the year. Lots of paperwork and I learned another lesson from all this. If you have the chance at your work SIGN UP FOR SHORT TERM DISABILITY NOW! Nobody thinks about signing up for disability when you are super healthy (seriously I check NO to all the questionaires at the doctor's office for health issues) but once you do come down with an alien disease of some sort you can't file for it because you have a pre-existing condition. Lame if you ask me! Guess growing up means thinking ahead.
After sorting things out at the district office my whole body hurt to the point of nausea so Alicia took me home where I sat again, in the same position, for the rest of the day.
Wednesday was jammed packed with tasks for the day. Early in the morning I went to Swedish Med to talk to a genetic counselor to get tested for BRCA1 and BRCA2 genes. Knowing whether these are positive or not will help me determine if I need to have a double mastectomy or not. If positive there is a 40% chance cancer can occur in the other breast sometime in my lifetime. We don't want that to happen! This counselor was brilliant. He asked my family history and asked how many aunts and uncles I have on each side and how many children they have. When I was telling him all of this 9 times out of 10 he knew exactly how many boys to girls ratio there were in each family. The only family that threw him off was my Uncle Greg's (he had 4 girls and no boys). After the family tree breakdown he decided since there was no major history of cancer or breast cancer in my family that the BRCA tests were the only ones that were needed. He drew some blood and that was it. Simple! I should know those results in 3-4 weeks.
After leaving Swedish Med I headed to lunch with Daniel and my friends Krista and Emma. I have been anxiously awaiting to go to this restaurant called Lunchbox Laboratory since I moved here but hadn't made it there till today. Now most of you know I am a huge geek, well this place totally feeds into that. They had amazing burgers and drinks out of BEAKERS!! This is the only time you are allowed to drink out of a beaker. How exciting! Needless to say, I had a blast and it was a nice break.
After lunch Daniel and I headed to SCCA to meet with my oncologist to discuss my chemo schedule and test results. I met with Dr. Ellis and we discussed my MRI biopsy results, body scan and CT scan in more detail. My MRI biopsy was positive (like I said last week) for cancer, however the cancer in my lymph node was very small and should react well to the chemo before it can spread anywhere else. The MRI also determined that I have to have lymph node removal and at least a mastectomy when it comes time for my surgery. My bone scan was negative for any cancer. YAY! However, my CT scan showed a few alarming places in my neck and lungs. My doctor ordered an Ultrasound for my neck for August 1st to check that further. She isn't sure if this issue is connected or a different issue. Now I will jut wait. In the lungs she is going to monitor the nodules found for a few months with more CT scans to make sure they are not growing and to see if they respond to the chemo. They could be cancerous or they could be scarring from histoplasmosis (which most people who live near the Missouri River valley may have). Time will only tell but "Always look on the bright side of life"- Monty Python :) Right? After all the results were explained we set up a calendar for my chemo and went over ALL the possible side effects of cancer. They gave me a large booklet to explain each treatment, each side effect and treatments for each side effect. There was so much information that they actually assigned me homework on which chapters to read before my first chemo appointment.
It was decided I will start my chemo on August 2. That will give me time to finish my IVF and harvest my eggs within the next few weeks and start on a Friday. Friday chemo will help minimize the amount of school time I will miss by giving me the weekend to recover. Any teacher knows its a pain to have to make sub plans and at the rate I am going chemo ALONE will take at least 14 sick days (every Friday). My chemo will start with dense doses. I will take two drugs together every other Friday for 4 doses (8 weeks total) then follow that with different chemo that will be weekly for 12 weeks. For those of you staring at a calendar that means I will be spending my 28th birthday getting my second chemo dosage. I am thinking about making Red Devil cupcakes (in honor of the nickname of the drug) or molecule cupcakes to celebrate the occassion. I will post pictures. Way to get old!
Thursday (today) was a day of rest. I had one panic attack this morning when I took the dressing off my chest and neck to see a round port under my skin. The thought of something under my skin made me a little light headed and brought me to tears. I just have to remember it is all going towards my alien tracking for when I get chosen to travel to Mars for the U.S. (that's still classified info) For the name of science! Haha. I had one appointment this morning at the Seattle Reproductive Center to pick up all my meds to start IVF on Friday. It is a LOT of meds and then I've been napping all day. It has been so relaxing and long overdue.
Friday (tomorrow), I am going to try to get out of the house and enjoy my first Seattle summer. I may go to the dog park to let my dogs roam since they have been stuck in the house all week :( or really I am free to do anything I want. Friday night will be hard though, I have to start my IVF shots. Yikes. Poking through my skin myself makes me nervous.
I want the days to go by to get it all over with but I think I need to slow down and try to enjoy the time I do get to be free. May go on a few adventures next week. So far it looks like I only have morning appointments three days next week! Yay!
Now I have a new scar to match the one on the other side.
Shortly after the pain medicine wore off my body was in hell. The pain on a scale of 1-10 felt like a 10. It felt like I had a metal bar stuck into my chest and it felt like my collarbone was made out of plastic and with the slightest movement it would snap. Walking hurt, laying down hurt, turning my head hurt. The only thing I could do was lay sitting slighting up with my head forward. I stayed this way for the rest of the day and if I needed anything Daniel helped me with it. I felt bad asking for help but I had no other choice. As night fall came Daniel had to go to work and I was home alone trying to sleep with this intense pain. Around 4:00a.m. I had a small mental breakdown but eventually fell asleep.
Tuesday morning when Daniel came home from work I got up to head to my school to meet with my principal to discuss the plan for the year. Daniel had to help me wash my hair in the kitchen sink because I couldnt' move my whole right side and I was told I can't shower for three days. Again...ugh. I felt so incredibly helpless and I owe him 100 guitar pedals for what I sadly feel I am going to put him through this year. This trend of helplessness continued the rest of the day. My friend Alicia picked me up from my apartment (because no way could I drive) to take me to the school and then lunch later. When we got to the school we checked in with my administrator so I could get the information needed to pursue the school district's responsibilities. Another helpless moment during this was Alicia had to take notes for me the whole time. After we met with the principal we headed to lunch with another friend Kate. It was a blast and nice to actually get to do something besides go to appointments and discuss paperwork. After lunch we went to the district office and mapped out a plan for my intermittent disability for the year. Lots of paperwork and I learned another lesson from all this. If you have the chance at your work SIGN UP FOR SHORT TERM DISABILITY NOW! Nobody thinks about signing up for disability when you are super healthy (seriously I check NO to all the questionaires at the doctor's office for health issues) but once you do come down with an alien disease of some sort you can't file for it because you have a pre-existing condition. Lame if you ask me! Guess growing up means thinking ahead.
After sorting things out at the district office my whole body hurt to the point of nausea so Alicia took me home where I sat again, in the same position, for the rest of the day.
Wednesday was jammed packed with tasks for the day. Early in the morning I went to Swedish Med to talk to a genetic counselor to get tested for BRCA1 and BRCA2 genes. Knowing whether these are positive or not will help me determine if I need to have a double mastectomy or not. If positive there is a 40% chance cancer can occur in the other breast sometime in my lifetime. We don't want that to happen! This counselor was brilliant. He asked my family history and asked how many aunts and uncles I have on each side and how many children they have. When I was telling him all of this 9 times out of 10 he knew exactly how many boys to girls ratio there were in each family. The only family that threw him off was my Uncle Greg's (he had 4 girls and no boys). After the family tree breakdown he decided since there was no major history of cancer or breast cancer in my family that the BRCA tests were the only ones that were needed. He drew some blood and that was it. Simple! I should know those results in 3-4 weeks.
After leaving Swedish Med I headed to lunch with Daniel and my friends Krista and Emma. I have been anxiously awaiting to go to this restaurant called Lunchbox Laboratory since I moved here but hadn't made it there till today. Now most of you know I am a huge geek, well this place totally feeds into that. They had amazing burgers and drinks out of BEAKERS!! This is the only time you are allowed to drink out of a beaker. How exciting! Needless to say, I had a blast and it was a nice break.
After lunch Daniel and I headed to SCCA to meet with my oncologist to discuss my chemo schedule and test results. I met with Dr. Ellis and we discussed my MRI biopsy results, body scan and CT scan in more detail. My MRI biopsy was positive (like I said last week) for cancer, however the cancer in my lymph node was very small and should react well to the chemo before it can spread anywhere else. The MRI also determined that I have to have lymph node removal and at least a mastectomy when it comes time for my surgery. My bone scan was negative for any cancer. YAY! However, my CT scan showed a few alarming places in my neck and lungs. My doctor ordered an Ultrasound for my neck for August 1st to check that further. She isn't sure if this issue is connected or a different issue. Now I will jut wait. In the lungs she is going to monitor the nodules found for a few months with more CT scans to make sure they are not growing and to see if they respond to the chemo. They could be cancerous or they could be scarring from histoplasmosis (which most people who live near the Missouri River valley may have). Time will only tell but "Always look on the bright side of life"- Monty Python :) Right? After all the results were explained we set up a calendar for my chemo and went over ALL the possible side effects of cancer. They gave me a large booklet to explain each treatment, each side effect and treatments for each side effect. There was so much information that they actually assigned me homework on which chapters to read before my first chemo appointment.
It was decided I will start my chemo on August 2. That will give me time to finish my IVF and harvest my eggs within the next few weeks and start on a Friday. Friday chemo will help minimize the amount of school time I will miss by giving me the weekend to recover. Any teacher knows its a pain to have to make sub plans and at the rate I am going chemo ALONE will take at least 14 sick days (every Friday). My chemo will start with dense doses. I will take two drugs together every other Friday for 4 doses (8 weeks total) then follow that with different chemo that will be weekly for 12 weeks. For those of you staring at a calendar that means I will be spending my 28th birthday getting my second chemo dosage. I am thinking about making Red Devil cupcakes (in honor of the nickname of the drug) or molecule cupcakes to celebrate the occassion. I will post pictures. Way to get old!
Thursday (today) was a day of rest. I had one panic attack this morning when I took the dressing off my chest and neck to see a round port under my skin. The thought of something under my skin made me a little light headed and brought me to tears. I just have to remember it is all going towards my alien tracking for when I get chosen to travel to Mars for the U.S. (that's still classified info) For the name of science! Haha. I had one appointment this morning at the Seattle Reproductive Center to pick up all my meds to start IVF on Friday. It is a LOT of meds and then I've been napping all day. It has been so relaxing and long overdue.
Friday (tomorrow), I am going to try to get out of the house and enjoy my first Seattle summer. I may go to the dog park to let my dogs roam since they have been stuck in the house all week :( or really I am free to do anything I want. Friday night will be hard though, I have to start my IVF shots. Yikes. Poking through my skin myself makes me nervous.
This isn't even half of them
I want the days to go by to get it all over with but I think I need to slow down and try to enjoy the time I do get to be free. May go on a few adventures next week. So far it looks like I only have morning appointments three days next week! Yay!
Friday, July 12, 2013
I have never really been a good test taker
Welcome to the week of testing. Now I know how it feels to be a highschooler anxiously awaiting the state mandated tests. The type of tests you really have no control over and you just go in with a positive mind and hope you get free candy or food at the end of it. Well that is how I feel this week has gone. It has been a roller coaster of emotions dealing with any and every test my doctors can think of followed by the financial expenses of those tests that insurance may or may not cover. One word sums up this week....Exhausting.
Monday I had to go in early in the morning to the Seattle Cancer Care Alliance (I will refer to it as SCCA) to get a biopsy of my lymph nodes in my left armpit. During the MRI last week they believed the cancer had spread to my lymph nodes but they did know 100% without biopsying it this week. So Monday morning when I arrived I went to the third floor, which I feel has become my second home, to the room I am now all too familiar with. This is my 3rd biopsy (keep count). This biopsy wasn't as painful as the first two but still uncomfortable and left me unable to use my left arm for the day.
After my biopsy Daniel and I went to Best Buy to buy my new camera to help me document this year. We roamed around the camera counter a few times but I just couldn't keep my eyes off this one beautiful black camera.
So we purchased it! No buyers remorse today. Now I just need to learn how to use it :) After we got home from Best Buy I had to deal with insurance the rest of the afternoon. Why can't money fall from the sky? That would make things easier. Lesson learned from all of this...always read the fine print and sign up for the BEST insurance your work offers because who knows when you may get some alien disease. Epic Fail on my part. Oh well, I keep telling myself between tears that money is the least of my worries and I have amazing family trying to help me sort all that mess out.
At the end of my day on Monday I got a call from the Seattle Reproductive Center to go in and get some blood drawn. I did not mention this in my first blog but my oncologist told me due to the type of chemo I am taking it may induce early menopause therefore I have to have my eggs frozen if I want to have kids in the future. Now this isn't 100% truth that this will happen to me but at the rate my luck is going I better be safe than sorry in the future. I mean who doesn't want to see "little Shelby's" running around right? So this is a process I am also going through in the next few weeks. Fun.
Last lesson I learned on Monday was not to Google things on the internet because they only give you the crappy bad information. It is like when you google "why do I have green snot in my nose" and the internet tells you it is the crazy alien disease and you need to go to the doctor before you die. Who knows what is real and what isn't on the internet and really each case is different. I knew to take this advice, a friend told me, when I decided to look up the type of chemo I will be getting. I will spare you the name but tell you patients and doctors (according to the internet) refer to it as the "red death" or "red devil." Awesome. Can't wait!
On Tuesday I had a full day. I woke up early to go to UW Hospital to get a CT scan and a bone scan. I showed up with a backpack full of Star Wars cards and books knowing it would be a lot of waiting between tests. At 9:30 in the morning I was sent in to get a bone injection. To me, being a chemistry nerd, this process was fascinating. They injected me with Technetium-99 which is a radioactive substance that goes into my bone for the scans later on. This Tc-99m only has a half-life of 6 hours but they gave me a bracelet and told me not to try and cross the border or ride on a ferry for a few days because I was considered radioactive and they may come after me. AWESOME! This substance had to travel through my system for a few hours before my actual scan. That gave them time to do a CT scan.
Now I am not a huge fan of drinking a lot of water throughout the day, and anyone who has ever partied with me knows I can't chug drinks to save my life. As set up for the CT scan I was asked to chug a liter of water with 25mL of trace in it to prepare for the scan and I only had 45 minutes to do so. This was a major task for me, but I completed it in 42 minutes and man did I have to pee. After I chugged the magical drink they sent me back to get my CT scan. They told me they would be sending a IV trace through my body during the test and it would cause a warm sensation in my bladder that would make me feel like I was peeing but not to worry because its just a sensation. This made me nervous because anyone who knows me knows I can't hold my pee and with this sensation I may be in trouble. While I was in the middle waiting room I met an awesome breast cancer survivor who eased my mind with her comical rants. She was going in to get "new boobs" and she wanted everyone to know. Once I got into the scan it was quick. I did not pee my pants thank goodness and it wasn't painful. Once it was over I peed forever and then waited for my next appointment: the actual bone scan.
The actual bone scan was also quick and easy. I had to lay on a comfortable table as they scanned by head and body for about 30 minutes. I took a nap through this scan. After it was over I head home in a state of exhaustion. When I got home I slept most of the night with no problems.
Day 3, Wednesday, I had an appointment at 1:30 for an MRI biopsy. Now I had a MRI in week one and I hated it. A MRI requires you to lay still for 30+ minutes face down with your arms above your head. This is very uncomfortable. When you throw in a biopsy (number 4) during this scan it makes it all the worse. This test by far has been the most painful one I have had. It may be because I could not see what they were doing and the sounds were terrifying, but I do not wish this upon anyone. Luckily that night I got to eat dinner with my coworkers and they took my mind off the pain for a while and I even got to talk to a cancer survivor who eased my mind on a lot of things. The days seem to go by fast, which may be a good thing, I mean, they say I only have one year for all this. I just wish I could sleep.
Thursday was my free day! No appointments just recovering and lunch with friends. I also got my results in from both biopsies (lymph node and deep tissue breast) and they both came back positive for breast cancer. This means I definitely have to have a mastectomy and lymph node removal when it comes time for surgery. Not good news. However, I also got back my CT scan and my bone scan results and they were both negative for spread of cancer so it didn't metastasize. That's good news.
Today (Friday) I am going to meet with the Reproductive Specialist to make sure I am a viable young candidate for IVF to eventually freeze my eggs, but I'm not going to go into detail on that. Then the rest of the weekend I am going to wok my tush off at the bar so I have some money saved up before I can't work anymore and it keeps my mind busy. Next week is going to be another long week of tests and procedures.
Again, thank you all for following my blog. Your support is amazing. I will post updates every Friday for the week.
Monday I had to go in early in the morning to the Seattle Cancer Care Alliance (I will refer to it as SCCA) to get a biopsy of my lymph nodes in my left armpit. During the MRI last week they believed the cancer had spread to my lymph nodes but they did know 100% without biopsying it this week. So Monday morning when I arrived I went to the third floor, which I feel has become my second home, to the room I am now all too familiar with. This is my 3rd biopsy (keep count). This biopsy wasn't as painful as the first two but still uncomfortable and left me unable to use my left arm for the day.
After my biopsy Daniel and I went to Best Buy to buy my new camera to help me document this year. We roamed around the camera counter a few times but I just couldn't keep my eyes off this one beautiful black camera.
So we purchased it! No buyers remorse today. Now I just need to learn how to use it :) After we got home from Best Buy I had to deal with insurance the rest of the afternoon. Why can't money fall from the sky? That would make things easier. Lesson learned from all of this...always read the fine print and sign up for the BEST insurance your work offers because who knows when you may get some alien disease. Epic Fail on my part. Oh well, I keep telling myself between tears that money is the least of my worries and I have amazing family trying to help me sort all that mess out.
At the end of my day on Monday I got a call from the Seattle Reproductive Center to go in and get some blood drawn. I did not mention this in my first blog but my oncologist told me due to the type of chemo I am taking it may induce early menopause therefore I have to have my eggs frozen if I want to have kids in the future. Now this isn't 100% truth that this will happen to me but at the rate my luck is going I better be safe than sorry in the future. I mean who doesn't want to see "little Shelby's" running around right? So this is a process I am also going through in the next few weeks. Fun.
Last lesson I learned on Monday was not to Google things on the internet because they only give you the crappy bad information. It is like when you google "why do I have green snot in my nose" and the internet tells you it is the crazy alien disease and you need to go to the doctor before you die. Who knows what is real and what isn't on the internet and really each case is different. I knew to take this advice, a friend told me, when I decided to look up the type of chemo I will be getting. I will spare you the name but tell you patients and doctors (according to the internet) refer to it as the "red death" or "red devil." Awesome. Can't wait!
On Tuesday I had a full day. I woke up early to go to UW Hospital to get a CT scan and a bone scan. I showed up with a backpack full of Star Wars cards and books knowing it would be a lot of waiting between tests. At 9:30 in the morning I was sent in to get a bone injection. To me, being a chemistry nerd, this process was fascinating. They injected me with Technetium-99 which is a radioactive substance that goes into my bone for the scans later on. This Tc-99m only has a half-life of 6 hours but they gave me a bracelet and told me not to try and cross the border or ride on a ferry for a few days because I was considered radioactive and they may come after me. AWESOME! This substance had to travel through my system for a few hours before my actual scan. That gave them time to do a CT scan.
Now I am not a huge fan of drinking a lot of water throughout the day, and anyone who has ever partied with me knows I can't chug drinks to save my life. As set up for the CT scan I was asked to chug a liter of water with 25mL of trace in it to prepare for the scan and I only had 45 minutes to do so. This was a major task for me, but I completed it in 42 minutes and man did I have to pee. After I chugged the magical drink they sent me back to get my CT scan. They told me they would be sending a IV trace through my body during the test and it would cause a warm sensation in my bladder that would make me feel like I was peeing but not to worry because its just a sensation. This made me nervous because anyone who knows me knows I can't hold my pee and with this sensation I may be in trouble. While I was in the middle waiting room I met an awesome breast cancer survivor who eased my mind with her comical rants. She was going in to get "new boobs" and she wanted everyone to know. Once I got into the scan it was quick. I did not pee my pants thank goodness and it wasn't painful. Once it was over I peed forever and then waited for my next appointment: the actual bone scan.
The actual bone scan was also quick and easy. I had to lay on a comfortable table as they scanned by head and body for about 30 minutes. I took a nap through this scan. After it was over I head home in a state of exhaustion. When I got home I slept most of the night with no problems.
Day 3, Wednesday, I had an appointment at 1:30 for an MRI biopsy. Now I had a MRI in week one and I hated it. A MRI requires you to lay still for 30+ minutes face down with your arms above your head. This is very uncomfortable. When you throw in a biopsy (number 4) during this scan it makes it all the worse. This test by far has been the most painful one I have had. It may be because I could not see what they were doing and the sounds were terrifying, but I do not wish this upon anyone. Luckily that night I got to eat dinner with my coworkers and they took my mind off the pain for a while and I even got to talk to a cancer survivor who eased my mind on a lot of things. The days seem to go by fast, which may be a good thing, I mean, they say I only have one year for all this. I just wish I could sleep.
Thursday was my free day! No appointments just recovering and lunch with friends. I also got my results in from both biopsies (lymph node and deep tissue breast) and they both came back positive for breast cancer. This means I definitely have to have a mastectomy and lymph node removal when it comes time for surgery. Not good news. However, I also got back my CT scan and my bone scan results and they were both negative for spread of cancer so it didn't metastasize. That's good news.
Today (Friday) I am going to meet with the Reproductive Specialist to make sure I am a viable young candidate for IVF to eventually freeze my eggs, but I'm not going to go into detail on that. Then the rest of the weekend I am going to wok my tush off at the bar so I have some money saved up before I can't work anymore and it keeps my mind busy. Next week is going to be another long week of tests and procedures.
Again, thank you all for following my blog. Your support is amazing. I will post updates every Friday for the week.
Sunday, July 7, 2013
Round 1...FIGHT
On June 27, 2013 I was told I tested positive for breast cancer. I have struggled with how to tell friends and family and keep them informed with everything that I have been going through without calling every single person. So I decided to write a blog to document my year in karate chopping breast cancer cells.
It all started in February of 2013 when I felt a mass in my left breast when I was showering. I was a little concerned but from talking to numerous people I just assumed it was a fibroid that I had gotten from drinking SOO much coffee (Seattle will do that to you). Being an overworked teacher I decided it was more trouble to go to the doctor to get it checked out then to just wait and get it checked out later. Sub plans are the bain of my existence so I waited till end of March to go to a primary care physician. My physician seemed a little concerned by the mass in my breast and referred me to Seattle Cancer Care Alliance for an ultrasound. Yet again, being a teacher I put it off until the end of May when the mass started to hurt. At the end of May I went in for an ultrasound and the doctors found a cyst on my left breast that was very large. They aspirated the cyst and sent the fluid to pathology to make sure there were no cancer cells. A few days later the doctor called me and told me the pathology tests came back negative. They informed me that the cyst may grow back over time but it is nothing to worry about because it is negative for cancer. So I resumed my daily routines and put it all in the back of my mind.
Then Sunday, June 23, 2013 I had sharp pains and fluid coming from the same location my cyst was. The cyst had grown back almost as large as it was before. This freaked me out and I called the doctor who referred me back to Seattle Cancer Care Alliance. On Tuesday, June 25th I went back to SCCA and doctors found a large mass that was under where the cyst had been previously aspirated. They biopsied the mass to make sure it was nothing alarming.
On June 27, 2013 I got a phone call that has forced me to change the way I look at my life. I have always been someone who said that if a murderer was chasing after me I would just give in and let them kill me. I have never truly valued the life that was given to me; I have just lived it. Well on that day I was told I tested positive for breast cancer. Right then I knew I had to fight for my life. I now have to find value in my life and I am going to karate chop this cancer.
After I received the news of my positive results I had to wait a week for an appointment with an oncologist, radiologist and surgeon to see what steps to take and also to find out really how bad it was. Last Friday, July 5th was a long day of test and information. I will spare you all the details to the tests but after speaking with all three specialists here is what I found out:
-I have grade 3 breast cancer. That means the cells no longer look like breast tissue. It is not a stage but a type of cancer.
-The doctor said the mass is about 9cm in length and in my left breast only. Due to the size they think it is at least Stage 2.
-The surgeon also believes, according to my MRI, that the cancer may have spread to my lymph nodes under my arm.
The specialists then explained to me how my treatment would pan out:
- First I will get a few more scans and biopsies to make sure it has not spread throughout my body.
- Then I will have a port implanted in my chest for chemotherapy.
- Chemotherapy will last 4-5 months each treatment 2 weeks apart with another drug weekly.
- After chemo ends I will have a month recovery and then have a mastectomy or double mastectomy (depending on the results from my genetics test).
- Then I will have reconstructive surgery and recovery time of up to 6-8 weeks .
- After surgery I will then have 2-3 months of radiation to make sure it is all gone.
It is all very overwhelming but I have an amazing support group back home and here in Seattle that are all more than willing to help me in any thing I need and have given me the confidence to fight. I will keep this blog updated weekly to let people know how I am doing and what I am doing in this year long struggle.
It all started in February of 2013 when I felt a mass in my left breast when I was showering. I was a little concerned but from talking to numerous people I just assumed it was a fibroid that I had gotten from drinking SOO much coffee (Seattle will do that to you). Being an overworked teacher I decided it was more trouble to go to the doctor to get it checked out then to just wait and get it checked out later. Sub plans are the bain of my existence so I waited till end of March to go to a primary care physician. My physician seemed a little concerned by the mass in my breast and referred me to Seattle Cancer Care Alliance for an ultrasound. Yet again, being a teacher I put it off until the end of May when the mass started to hurt. At the end of May I went in for an ultrasound and the doctors found a cyst on my left breast that was very large. They aspirated the cyst and sent the fluid to pathology to make sure there were no cancer cells. A few days later the doctor called me and told me the pathology tests came back negative. They informed me that the cyst may grow back over time but it is nothing to worry about because it is negative for cancer. So I resumed my daily routines and put it all in the back of my mind.
Then Sunday, June 23, 2013 I had sharp pains and fluid coming from the same location my cyst was. The cyst had grown back almost as large as it was before. This freaked me out and I called the doctor who referred me back to Seattle Cancer Care Alliance. On Tuesday, June 25th I went back to SCCA and doctors found a large mass that was under where the cyst had been previously aspirated. They biopsied the mass to make sure it was nothing alarming.
On June 27, 2013 I got a phone call that has forced me to change the way I look at my life. I have always been someone who said that if a murderer was chasing after me I would just give in and let them kill me. I have never truly valued the life that was given to me; I have just lived it. Well on that day I was told I tested positive for breast cancer. Right then I knew I had to fight for my life. I now have to find value in my life and I am going to karate chop this cancer.
After I received the news of my positive results I had to wait a week for an appointment with an oncologist, radiologist and surgeon to see what steps to take and also to find out really how bad it was. Last Friday, July 5th was a long day of test and information. I will spare you all the details to the tests but after speaking with all three specialists here is what I found out:
-I have grade 3 breast cancer. That means the cells no longer look like breast tissue. It is not a stage but a type of cancer.
-The doctor said the mass is about 9cm in length and in my left breast only. Due to the size they think it is at least Stage 2.
-The surgeon also believes, according to my MRI, that the cancer may have spread to my lymph nodes under my arm.
The specialists then explained to me how my treatment would pan out:
- First I will get a few more scans and biopsies to make sure it has not spread throughout my body.
- Then I will have a port implanted in my chest for chemotherapy.
- Chemotherapy will last 4-5 months each treatment 2 weeks apart with another drug weekly.
- After chemo ends I will have a month recovery and then have a mastectomy or double mastectomy (depending on the results from my genetics test).
- Then I will have reconstructive surgery and recovery time of up to 6-8 weeks .
- After surgery I will then have 2-3 months of radiation to make sure it is all gone.
It is all very overwhelming but I have an amazing support group back home and here in Seattle that are all more than willing to help me in any thing I need and have given me the confidence to fight. I will keep this blog updated weekly to let people know how I am doing and what I am doing in this year long struggle.
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